On the Other Side

I've been meaning to write a short post about the most emotional school day I've had so far. I walked into school; immediately I could tell something was not right- the halls just sounded different. I walked with the teacher towards my classroom and saw one of my students, the 'tough guy', sobbing. The teacher talked with him and I stepped away to give them some privacy. When he was done talking to the student he told me why the kid was crying. Apparently Social Services was taking the child from his home and sending him to a boarding school / foster school type place outside of the city. They had just told him during recess. It was just such a shock to see the trouble maker student crying. We proceeded to the classroom and entered. I looked around me and I saw half of the classroom crying. I didn't know what to do or think. The teacher must have noticed how confused and concerned I was and told me why they were all crying. This summer one of their classmates died suddenly from a heart attack. Today there was an assembly remembering her life and dedicating a school initiative in her honor. The assembly had just finished and these students, her classmates, were expected to go right back to their studies. Normally this is one of the classes that I teach by myself while the teacher sits at the back of the classroom, but before I even could think I asked him to stay up in front with me today. He conducted the class, for which I am still very grateful. He told the students that although what has happened is very sad and painful, it's a part of life and the living need to go on living. Then proceeded with the exercises. I was shocked; it seemed so heartless to me but I reminded myself that perhaps this is how the Spanish deal with death. He tried to go through the superlative and comparative adjective worksheet and the students answered the questions but throughout it all there were tears and loud sobs. I almost wanted to cry; how horrible to hear 12-14 year olds crying so uncontrollably over a friend that lost their life too soon. Finally after 20 minutes of this the teacher took the crying kids out of the classroom to talk to him. I was to stay with the non-crying kids and just talk to them. They explained to me again why there was so much crying and then told me something I hadn't known. Apparently the two girls that were sobbing uncontrollably were the girl's two best friends. My lord my heart sank, how do you talk to kids about the death of a best friend. I have been on the other side- a student dealing with the death of a classmate, but I never realized how hard it was to be on the teachers side as well. However, in what was probably the quickest change of atmosphere I've ever experienced, one of the students started playing music on his phone and two girls went up to the front of the classroom and started dirty dancing with each other. Then I saw a kid whip out his phone and start video taping the whole incident. I was quite certain I was going to get fired for this- just wait till the video appears on YouTube. Lord. Finally the bell rang and I was left speechless trying to make sense of all that had just happened in that hour.

The next day I saw that boy that was being taken away from his family. I handed him a penny and told him that in the US we keep these as good luck charms and that I hope this will bring him luck with his upcoming changes. He stared at me and his eyes got glassy. I told him that I would miss him. Later that day one of the guidance counselors came looking for me, they wanted to see who gave the boy the penny that made him so happy.

Morocco

I've been meaning to write about my experience in Morocco, but to tell you the truth I'm not sure how to put it into words. What I've been saying is this: While Spain and the US have differing cultures, when you get right down to it, they are pretty similar. Morocco however was unlike anything I had ever seen before- unlike anything I had ever experienced. The second I stepped off the

plane

I was immersed in Muslim/ Arabic culture. I was surrounded by headscarves and Jilbabs, Burqas, Women in Veils, Men in Cloaks... the list could go on and on.

I was on sensory overload, rendered speechless and forced to take everything in around me. I was incredibly aware, perhaps hyper aware, but unlike the others I was traveling with I felt like I had prepared myself mentally before stepping into the 9000+ streets of the Fez Medina.

The Medina was mystic- we were woken up every morning at 5am by the Call to Prayer.

There isn't much I can say about my experience, only that for the first time in my life my culture completely differed from that around me. And instead of being completely overwhelmed and put off by this I was able to take it all in and come out with a better understanding of how diverse the world is.

A Question.

Does any one even read this anymore? Joseph asked this question on his blog and I thought I would ask the same question here. So does anyone? If you do, please raise your hand.

I'm back in Jaén, have been for about three weeks. I arrived in Jaén and it was snowing- Minnesota had followed me. Ever since then it has been raining practically every day, which has prevented me from doing my laundry (for those of you who don't know, there are no dryers in Spain).

I'm back though. It was a hard transition coming back, but I've come to accept that I'm just not good with transitions.

I have two private classes now- I teach two girls, 10 and 12 years old, on Monday and Wednesdays. Some weeks, I speak in English with their father for an hour who is going into international business and needs to practice speaking.

On Tuesdays, Sarah and I are teaching a free English class at the immigration center- I have not started this class yet but I'm excited to see how it will go. Basically I'm just grateful that I'm starting to have things to fill my time, it's what I needed. I might join a yoga class on Thursday nights too.

I saw the google map car and it was like I saw a celebrity- i freaked out and took a picture on my phone.

I have a legit friend at school that I go and eat breakfast with during recess and who I've hung out with a couple times outside of the high school- it's nice.

Students are collecting money for Haiti, it's impressive to see how all countries are responding to this crisis, gives me a little bit of faith in humanity.

One of my roommates left to go live with her Boyfriend in Málaga. He had a good bye dinner for her where we made chicken fajitas and then for desert I made pancakes- they were a hit, although I think they liked the syrup better than the pancake. I'm sad to see Ana go because she is the one who I would spend most of my days talking with. A guy is moving in who is a friend with my other roommate Karen and, like Karen, is studying social work.

This Thursday I'm going to Morocco. Trip to Africa for 30 Euros.... not bad.

Different Air

I have moved. Yes, I actually did it. I came back from my travels in England and Spain to find out that my room had been rented and that I had a day to move out. I didn't waste time and was finished packing that night. When I walked in the door I felt such a sense of relief. I can't even describe the feeling I had walking into my new apartment and being greeted by my new roommates while knowing that this was a place I could call my own. I feel like I'm seeing the city with someone else's eyes. How interesting that a little move up a hill can do that to you. I don't mind that I now live farther away from work or the university, in fact i've started enjoying my 'commute'. I guess I just feel more apart of live here now that I have to walk 20 minutes to work. I like it. The first day that I had to 'commute' I let myself stop at a little bakery to get a little morning treat. It was wonderful. I can set my own schedule. I can relax in my room or in the apartment in general. It's just....better. At school two days after I had moved, one of the teachers came up to me and said, "you look so much happier"- I'm glad it showed.

I had to contract internet here but got an amazing price (under 20 euro a month for 20 megas) and it only took me a week from completion till installation- interesting especially since it's with the same company that my old roommates contracted with and it took them 7 weeks! Today my router came in the mail so I am officially connected.

I do however have a cold (one of my new roommates gave one to me), so I am going to wrap up this entry and get some rest. Spain had ANOTHER four day weekend last week so I went with some friends to Gibraltar and Ronda (a small, traditional town in Spain). Ronda was beautiful and I saw old torture devices from the inquisition and in Gibraltar a monkey jumped up on me and sat on my arm.

Now I think I can actually mean it when I say that I will be in contact from now on.

Annnnnd in case you wanted to write me a little letter or something:

Irene Lilly

Avenida de Granada, 15 planta, 2A

Jaen, Jaen, 23001

Less talk, more rock.

Well after much talking and no action I have finally started the moving process. I found an apartment that is on the boarder of the new part and the old part of town. I gave up on trying to find a place in the old part- I realized no one rents those out. But from the new apartment, walk two blocks up and and you are surrounded by historic buildings. I told my roommates today that I was moving. I was so scared but I think they seemed relieved. Perhaps we all just realized that we just don't live well together.

The apartment is the same one I told you about before- the one with the teeny tiny room. I didn't jump on it before, but I suddenly decided to text the girl who I meet with before to see if the room was still available. She told me that it was not, but that she just got a job offer in Monaco so here room was open now. A shame because she was very nice and spoke some English so if things got a little too complicated we could speak in Spanglish. However yesterday I went and meet with all the roommates (old and new) and the landlord. I just got a really good feeling when I was there. They were so talkative and friendly and kept telling me, don't worry you will learn a lot of Spanish here and also want to practice their English with me. I never understood that about Victoria. She studied abroad in England and told me that she wants to move to Ireland but never utter one word in English or showed any interest in learning. The one time we went out together as an apartment the only thing they talked to me about was American TV shows. They just wanted me to list all of the American TV shows that I could and they would tell me if they had heard of them. Funny how our entire time together has been built around tv. Anyway the people in the new apartment are so sweet. They were patient and kept making sure that I was following and corrected me when I spoke. Like I told Danny, I feel like my Spanish improved more in the four hours I was with them than in the entire seven weeks that I've been here. I just overall feel like this will be a good move for me. I hope. Like I said the room is literally the size of a twin bed with a bedside table next to it. But in the beginning of February one of the girls is moving to live with her boyfriend, so I will take her room. Also the apartment has free heat! Oh thank god! I am moving from a place with no heat to free heat! And you don't have to light a bombona every time you want hot water- furthermore we don't even have to pay for hot water, only for the amount of water we use. Man, living in luxury! Another plus- I just found out that I am living in the second worst neighborhood in Jaén, so you know, moving somewhere less dangerous will be nice- haha.

Since I last wrote I have done two day trips. One weekend to Cordoba, and another to Baeza (a small old town in Jaén provence). Lise wrote on my facebook wall that for someone who finally has internet I sure haven't been using it. And she's right- I've had internet for almost a week and no updates. The truth is, I've been spending as little time as possible in my apartment. No excuse for not keeping up, but a reason.

I have all next week off for Patron Saint of Jaén day. I'm going to liverpool with some Americans, and a British girl who is from that area, then traveling around Northern Spain. As you've probably guessed that also means another week without updates. There is no way I'm taking my computer out of my apartment- haha.

Also, during one of my classes one of my students said to the teacher "Vas a la Mierda!". She said, "what did you say to me?" and he said again louder "VAS A LA MIERDA!". So she went with him to the principles office and I had to conduct class. The students were trying to explain what would happen to the kid to me but didn't have the vocabulary to ask me in English. So instead they would turn to the 'best English speaker' in class and say "tell her blah blah blah". I let this go on for about five minutes when I finally said, "Sabía que hablo Español?" (You guys do know that I know Spanish). Their faces dropped and they all got super embarrassed while some fell down laughing cause they felt so stupid. Apparently they had no idea that I could understand them this whole time and then they wanted me to speak to them in Spanish so they could hear me. All in all I feel like I got closer to the students. They also told me how some student got suspended for posting pictures on facebook of a teacher. Apparently there were bad/crude comments. That explained why there were signs up everywhere saying that no pictures taken of people who work in the school or any pictures inside the school are allowed to be posted on the internet. At least that mystery is solved.

Day 46

Joy of joys- due to, or what I believe is due to, cloud coverage I am able to get a weak wifi signal coming from my school. That should tell you how close I live to school.

Halloween in Jaén was, well, kinda what I expected. Oh Jaén- of all the beautiful, historic cities in Andalucía how did I end up with you?

My friend Sarah and I went searching for pumpkins last thursday, we walked far but finally we found some pumpkins that came with a carrying case. People gave us strange looks as we walked down the Gran Eje with our pumpkins in hand. We carved the pumpkins, roasted the seeds, and then cut out some of the pumpkin pulp. It was very strange to be carving pumpkins, while explaining what we were doing in Spanish, and with the illuminated castle in the background. We roasted the pumpkin seeds that night and when offering some for my roommates to try they sad, no (typical). This is how I feel like most of my interactions with my roommates go. I say, "hey i'm going to this bar tonight, do you want to come?". There is no politeness in their response just "no tengo ganas" (translation: No, I don't want to) and they continue watching tv. I was excited though because they said that on Halloween they would come out with us. I thought it would be nice to see them out of the apartment and a chance to hangout WITHOUT the tv. However, come Halloween, I ask them if they are going to come with me. The response: No. Even though one of them was painting her and her boyfriends faces. I also have to call if I'm not going to be home for lunch or if I'm going to be late- the same for dinner. And when I'm gone for the whole day they look at me and say where were you. Not in a friendly tell me about your day where were you, but very why weren't you home. Anyway, enough of childish complaining about roommates. While I really like one of the girls, I'm seriously considering moving. I've looked at an apartment already that is farther up the hill (closer to the old part) and tonight I am going over there to meet the other two roommates. The one girl I met was so sweet, if they are all that way it'll be a no brainer. However one downside to this apartment. The room is as big as a twin bed with just enough room for the door to open. I'm not even kidding. The desk is attached to the wall and can fold down, because there isn't space to have a desk. So tonight I think i'm going to sit in the room with the door closed and see if i feel horribly claustrophobic or if I'm fine. If I feel fine, then I'll change. I would rather have nice and compatible roommates than a big room.

Anyway- back to Halloween. Sarah and I found costumes for under a euro at "bazar china". I was a pirate. It wasn't a bad costume for throwing it together in ten minutes. Sarah and I walked up the hill to this restaurant called "Casa de Cordoba". The American apartment lives right around the corner from casa de cordoba and have risen above a regular and practically integrated into the family. They go to soccer games, they went to a birthday party, etc. However this does come with its advantages for me. For example, it's traditional in Jaén that when you order a drink you get a free snack with your drink, called a tapa. However at Casa de Cordoba you practically get an entree. After we went to the Irish Pub, because that just felt like the place to be on halloween and drink cider- strongbow.

So here I am- not super emotional like the last two weeks, but not content either. I'm just in a 'meh' stage if you know what I'm saying. I just gotta ride this out and hope that I come back with a new sense of confidence and strength (and also complete Spanish proficency).

Day 39

I´m thinking about moving. I really don´t like my neighborhood, and I would prefer to move to the old part of town- if I can find anything. My roommates are nice, but they NEVER, I mean NEVER, except for classes, leave the apartment. Not even on the weekends. It´s depressing to me. While they are nice, I think I need to find a more positive and engaging place to live.

I think I´m facing some phychological effects of being robbed. I haven´t been doing well lately, and honestly if it keeps up like this I don´t think I will come back to Spain in January. This last week has been horrible- I think everything just piled up: going out into the real world, leaving college, moving to a foreign country, leaving everyone behind, being sick, getting robbed, and then having food poisoning. I was already pretty sensitive to begin with.

I´m taking a free spanish class at the university. The good of that is that I placed into the second highest level on the European Union scale of languages (or something like that). I like having classes, it gives me something to do, challenges me, and I feel like I always come away with better spanish. I think I need to find something else to do with my time though. An hour and a half class three times a week is not enough to keep me occupied. I´m trying to find some kind of class, but I haven´t been able to find anything other than English schools. Maybe I´ll join a gym.